It’s early October in Southampton New York and the usually packed dining room is sparse, the summer brunch crowd waned. It’s been a good weekend, 8 friends joking, catching up on kids, husbands and divorces and drinking lots of wine. We’re winding down our trip with some eggs and last laughs when my phone rings. It’s my 6-year-old daughter Emily. As she rattles on about…
I recently read an article about how important it is, in general, to “show up” for your friends. It got me thinking, specifically, about the toughest time I’ve gone through, my divorce. A few showed up, many didn’t and I understand why. Unless or until you’ve personally gone through it, you don’t know what to do. To those who would have shown up had they…
Know it all, liar, messy, neat freak, indecisive, needy, homebody, world traveler, party girl, party boy, lazy, hyper organized, cheater, sarcastic, tactless, short tempered, pushover, confrontational, controlling, spendthrift, uber frugal. Imagine if we all wore our flaws where potential mates could see them. A la “The Scarlet Letter,” you would write your top few flaws on sign with a string around your neck and potential…
My wedding is in a few weeks and trust me, getting married for the second time in my 40s is a lot different than when I did it the first time in my 20s. This time around I experienced a hot flash while trying on wedding dresses, I won’t be wearing a veil, cutting a cake or dancing a first dance. There isn’t a bridal…
Thursday and Friday mornings my fiancé Andrew leaves for work while I slumber, answer emails or watch the news in bed. Both divorced, our kids are with our exes these mornings. Free from school drop off, my flexibly scheduled self can usually afford the luxury of extra time under the covers. As a light-sleeping night owl this is especially helpful since I typically don’t enter…
“I’m sorry, ma’am. You’re four pounds over. You’ll have to step aside. Step aside, ma’am. You can come back when you’ve removed your extra weight.” I don’t shrink or hide, nor am I the least bit embarrassed that I’ve been told in front of dozens of strangers that I’m over my allotted weight limit. I smile brightly, shift my eyes towards my fiancé, shrug my…
I was the first in my group to get divorced and in this case, there was no trophy and no prize for placing ahead of the pack. Surprisingly, there is a steep learning curve when you introduce divorce into a group of married people. Not only was I learning to be without a partner and my kids all the time, friends were at a loss…
Dear Ben, We’ve discussed sexting but I didn’t think a discussion on rape was necessary quite yet, you’re only 12 years old. I’m sure by now that you’ve heard the name Brock Turner, you’ve been hearing Stanford (a college we throw around as hopefully a future option), swimmer and athlete all buzzwords for you, things you would deem positive. I’m sure you’re wondering what all…
The 90’s, a pivotal decade in my life. 16 years old in 1990 and 26 when the millennium struck, the 90’s had me struggling through the traumas of high school, the dramas of college and forging my way as an adult in New York City. Friends were my touchstones and my mirrors in a time of change and growth. Groundbreaking TV shows followed my journey…
Divorced 5 years, I’ve accepted that I cannot change my ex. He does what he wants, doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want, my opinions and concerns hold little weight and that which didn’t work between us in marriage will definitely not work between us in divorce. Like most couples, intact or estranged, we have the same recurring arguments. One issue, the instigator of dozens of…
