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Divorce Dish: Dating Post Divorce

May 23rd, 2018 Divorce Abby King 2 min read

Divorce Dish is my monthly advice column specifically focused on issues that arise for the divorced community. It’s offered exclusively on Divorce Force -an online community connecting and empowering those affected by divorce. I will be re-posting snippets of these columns with links to the full text. Enjoy! Introducing My New Boyfriend To My Kids, How Soon Is Too Soon? Question: I’ve been dating someone…

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My Stepsons Don’t Adore Me And That’s OK

Feb 26th, 2018 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

 My second husband Andrew and I have been a couple for five years, last spring we married. When we started dating my kids (boy and girl) were nine and six, and his two boys were seven and three. I know it didn’t happen immediately, but now it seems that my son and daughter have always loved Andrew. My girl is effusive and generous with her…

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When Children Go Back And Forth Between Homes

Dec 9th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 1 min read

My parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, so as a Solo Mom of a 14-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl, I haven’t walked in my kids’ “children of divorce” shoes. In the seven years since their dad and I separated, there have been ups and downs along the way. Ups and downs are expected for all on the roller coaster of adolescence, but I wonder…

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Another Person To Love

Sep 27th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 8 min read

It’s early October in Southampton New York and the usually packed dining room is sparse, the summer brunch crowd waned. It’s been a good weekend, 8 friends joking, catching up on kids, husbands and divorces and drinking lots of wine. We’re winding down our trip with some eggs and last laughs when my phone rings. It’s my 6-year-old daughter Emily. As she rattles on about…

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How To Show Up For A Friend Going Through A Divorce

Jun 6th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 7 min read

I recently read an article about how important it is, in general, to “show up” for your friends. It got me thinking, specifically, about the toughest time I’ve gone through, my divorce. A few showed up, many didn’t and I understand why. Unless or until you’ve personally gone through it, you don’t know what to do. To those who would have shown up had they…

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My Ex and Me. Together, Unhappy.

Mar 3rd, 2017 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

Thursday and Friday mornings my fiancé Andrew leaves for work while I slumber, answer emails or watch the news in bed. Both divorced, our kids are with our exes these mornings. Free from school drop off, my flexibly scheduled self can usually afford the luxury of extra time under the covers. As a light-sleeping night owl this is especially helpful since I typically don’t enter…

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Co-Parents Who Can’t Agree On Co-Parenting

Jun 2nd, 2016 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

Divorced 5 years, I’ve accepted that I cannot change my ex. He does what he wants, doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want, my opinions and concerns hold little weight and that which didn’t work between us in marriage will definitely not work between us in divorce. Like most couples, intact or estranged, we have the same recurring arguments. One issue, the instigator of dozens of…

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My Relationship With My Son Is Better BECAUSE I’m Divorced

Oct 14th, 2015 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

There are lots of negatives to divorce but silver linings are there to those who look outside the “what my life should look like” box. Lately I’ve been giving pause to appreciate one silver lining in particular. My relationship with my son. Our relationship is better because I’m divorced. For his first three years I was numero uno, Ben’s main mom, his one and only….

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Is There A Good Age For Divorce?

Sep 24th, 2015 Divorce Abby King 3 min read

Have you ever said to your ex, “think we can stick it out till the kids graduate high school?” This weekend my son had a basketball game. My parents, daughter, ex and I sat together and my dad and ex chatted throughout the game. That night when Emily went to bed she said, “I liked seeing daddy sitting with grandma and grandpa. Have they ever…