Cheating is a gift. It sounds ridiculous but hear me out. First, I’ll state the obvious just in case my opening leads you to think I’m insane. I do not condone cheating. It’s cowardly, selfish, makes everything worse and should be avoided at all costs. Ending a marriage (or relationship of any kind) is hard enough on its own. Adding indiscretion to the mix is…
Smile And Wave Question: My daughter recently divorced and I don’t know how to act towards her ex-husband. We had a warm relationship when they were together but after they split I found out that he treated my daughter terribly. We live in the same area and see each other often at my grandkids events. Every time I’m near him I’m tempted to let him…
Night Owls Question: My ex and I have been separated for over a year and have three kids, ages 8, 11 and 13. When they come home to me they’re exhausted and tell me how late they’re allowed to stay up at their dad’s. He doesn’t bother to get up and put them to bed so they just hang out till they crash. How can…
Divorced Not Dead Question: Now that I’m divorced, my friends have taken me off their call lists. They only include me in girl’s nights, which are fun, but the energy is different than a night with couples. I miss the normalcy of those Saturday nights and I miss the husbands too. I wish when they make their plans they’d remember that I’m divorced, not dead!…
Divorce Dish is my monthly advice column specifically focused on issues that arise for the divorced community. It’s offered exclusively on Divorce Force -an online community connecting and empowering those affected by divorce. I will be re-posting snippets of these columns with links to the full text. Enjoy! Introducing My New Boyfriend To My Kids, How Soon Is Too Soon? Question: I’ve been dating someone…
My parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, so as a Solo Mom of a 14-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl, I haven’t walked in my kids’ “children of divorce” shoes. In the seven years since their dad and I separated, there have been ups and downs along the way. Ups and downs are expected for all on the roller coaster of adolescence, but I wonder…
It’s early October in Southampton New York and the usually packed dining room is sparse, the summer brunch crowd waned. It’s been a good weekend, 8 friends joking, catching up on kids, husbands and divorces and drinking lots of wine. We’re winding down our trip with some eggs and last laughs when my phone rings. It’s my 6-year-old daughter Emily. As she rattles on about…
I recently read an article about how important it is, in general, to “show up” for your friends. It got me thinking, specifically, about the toughest time I’ve gone through, my divorce. A few showed up, many didn’t and I understand why. Unless or until you’ve personally gone through it, you don’t know what to do. To those who would have shown up had they…
Thursday and Friday mornings my fiancé Andrew leaves for work while I slumber, answer emails or watch the news in bed. Both divorced, our kids are with our exes these mornings. Free from school drop off, my flexibly scheduled self can usually afford the luxury of extra time under the covers. As a light-sleeping night owl this is especially helpful since I typically don’t enter…
I was the first in my group to get divorced and in this case, there was no trophy and no prize for placing ahead of the pack. Surprisingly, there is a steep learning curve when you introduce divorce into a group of married people. Not only was I learning to be without a partner and my kids all the time, friends were at a loss…
