Cape Town, South Africa,Young boy eating breakfast at table

My Stepsons Don’t Adore Me And That’s OK

Feb 26th, 2018 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

 My second husband Andrew and I have been a couple for five years, last spring we married. When we started dating my kids (boy and girl) were nine and six, and his two boys were seven and three. I know it didn’t happen immediately, but now it seems that my son and daughter have always loved Andrew. My girl is effusive and generous with her…


Are Fear of Failure And Embarrassment Keeping You Coupled?

Jan 3rd, 2018 Relationships Abby King 8 min read

My first marriage ended in divorce. I’d like to say we consciously uncoupled but the last few years of our union were filled with tension, lies, betrayal, arguments, name calling and sadness until utterly exhausted I threw my hands up. After two therapists, two years separated and with nothing changing, I called my ex and told him, “I’m going to call a lawyer. Unless you…


Friendship In Your Forties

Dec 9th, 2017 Everything Else Abby King 5 min read

I recently talked with a friend experiencing angst and exclusion within a friendship. Several women I know are agonizing over the invitation list to their children’s mitzvah celebrations, afraid of the repercussions of necessary cuts. One good friend continually gets upset when she hears of even just two friends hanging out without her. Another despises being the last to hear big news. At times I’ve…


When Children Go Back And Forth Between Homes

Dec 9th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 1 min read

My parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, so as a Solo Mom of a 14-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl, I haven’t walked in my kids’ “children of divorce” shoes. In the seven years since their dad and I separated, there have been ups and downs along the way. Ups and downs are expected for all on the roller coaster of adolescence, but I wonder…


When Dating, Take OFF Your Rose Colored Glasses

Oct 25th, 2017 Relationships Abby King 3 min read

One of my girlfriends is in relationship flux. In discussing and breaking down the specifics and looking at how she got where she is, she told me that her man has totally changed and is so different than she thought. There was a time, that in solidarity I would have reinforced the view from which she stands. “Yes, he has totally changed, he is not…


Another Person To Love

Sep 27th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 8 min read

It’s early October in Southampton New York and the usually packed dining room is sparse, the summer brunch crowd waned. It’s been a good weekend, 8 friends joking, catching up on kids, husbands and divorces and drinking lots of wine. We’re winding down our trip with some eggs and last laughs when my phone rings. It’s my 6-year-old daughter Emily. As she rattles on about…


How To Show Up For A Friend Going Through A Divorce

Jun 6th, 2017 Divorce Abby King 7 min read

I recently read an article about how important it is, in general, to “show up” for your friends. It got me thinking, specifically, about the toughest time I’ve gone through, my divorce. A few showed up, many didn’t and I understand why. Unless or until you’ve personally gone through it, you don’t know what to do. To those who would have shown up had they…


Why You Shouldn’t Hide Your Flaws

Apr 24th, 2017 Relationships Abby King 3 min read

Know it all, liar, messy, neat freak, indecisive, needy, homebody, world traveler, party girl, party boy, lazy, hyper organized, cheater, sarcastic, tactless, short tempered, pushover, confrontational, controlling, spendthrift, uber frugal. Imagine if we all wore our flaws where potential mates could see them. A la “The Scarlet Letter,” you would write your top few flaws on sign with a string around your neck and potential…


What People Ask When You’re Getting Married For The Second Time

Apr 21st, 2017 Relationships Abby King 3 min read

My wedding is in a few weeks and trust me, getting married for the second time in my 40s is a lot different than when I did it the first time in my 20s. This time around I experienced a hot flash while trying on wedding dresses, I won’t be wearing a veil, cutting a cake or dancing a first dance. There isn’t a bridal…


My Ex and Me. Together, Unhappy.

Mar 3rd, 2017 Divorce Abby King 4 min read

Thursday and Friday mornings my fiancé Andrew leaves for work while I slumber, answer emails or watch the news in bed. Both divorced, our kids are with our exes these mornings. Free from school drop off, my flexibly scheduled self can usually afford the luxury of extra time under the covers. As a light-sleeping night owl this is especially helpful since I typically don’t enter…