Dear Son and Daughter,

Consider this a fair warning, do NOT try and manipulate your father and me.

Yes we are divorced and we don’t always see eye to eye. But, we work together when it comes to you and we will not let you try and use our differences to your advantage. Here is a little secret, your father and I go to counseling twice a month to discuss you. Counseling with your ex is not fun. SO not fun. We do this; we make this effort because we want the best outcome for you. We are trying to do now for you, what we couldn’t do as a couple. Be a team. So, we get in our cars every two weeks, drive to the other part of town and sit in a small room with a stranger for an hour and try not to kill each other or do permanent damage to our eyes with our incessant eye rolling. We talk, sneer, shout, argue and figure s**t out. We both compromise, we make decisions. It is a torturous hour.

This is your heads up that we discuss you, we tell each other what goes on in our separate homes and most importantly we make joint decisions. You might be able to watch more TV at his house and have more sweets at mine. But, that’s as deep as it’s gonna get. Your father and I will make the big decisions together. Don’t f**k with us.

I’m not kidding,