Divorced 5 years, I’ve accepted that I cannot change my ex. He does what he wants, doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want, my opinions and concerns hold little weight and that which didn’t work between us in marriage will definitely not work between us in divorce. Like most couples, intact or estranged, we have the same recurring arguments. One issue, the instigator of dozens of…
There are lots of negatives to divorce but silver linings are there to those who look outside the “what my life should look like” box. Lately I’ve been giving pause to appreciate one silver lining in particular. My relationship with my son. Our relationship is better because I’m divorced. For his first three years I was numero uno, Ben’s main mom, his one and only….
Have you ever said to your ex, “think we can stick it out till the kids graduate high school?” This weekend my son had a basketball game. My parents, daughter, ex and I sat together and my dad and ex chatted throughout the game. That night when Emily went to bed she said, “I liked seeing daddy sitting with grandma and grandpa. Have they ever…
Dear Friends, Some of us have been friends since childhood, some high school or college. For many of us, our friendships began when our first borns were off to school. We got our kids together, enjoyed lunch dates, had girls nights out, book clubs and on Saturday nights we got sitters and with husbands in tow, headed out for food, drinks and if we were…
Following their official breakup announcement, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were photographed at their vacation home in the Bahamas. People magazine has suggested that postdivorce, they plan to continue living together at their California estate. Is this just another example of crazy celebrities living differently from the rest of us? What is going on? If it’s true, I suspect what’s going on is something that…
Dear Son and Daughter, Consider this a fair warning, do NOT try and manipulate your father and me. Yes we are divorced and we don’t always see eye to eye. But, we work together when it comes to you and we will not let you try and use our differences to your advantage. Here is a little secret, your father and I go to counseling…
“Did he have a girlfriend? Was he cheating?” These are usually the first questions asked when news of a divorce spreads. It was the very first thing someone very close to me asked when told my ex and I had separated. It seems simple. Married + Cheating = Divorce. I am divorced and have many friends who have also gone through it. Some of us…
Dear Divorce, I can’t believe how hard I tried to avoid you. It’s not my fault I ran in circles looking for another option. The truth is I had heard such horrible stories about you; you know you do have a really bad reputation. I was scared of and embarrassed by you and was hoping you would just go away. We both know how hard…
1. Your kids will keep asking why you got divorced. Decide what you want to say to your kids and stick to it. They will ask at unexpected times in new and interesting ways. They’ll ask one night when they don’t know that you’re really pissed at your ex. This is not the time to vent and spill all. Keep it simple and keep yourself…
I was with my ex-husband for 16 years and have been divorced for three. The separation and divorce process are at times heartbreaking, heavy, confusing, and throughout it all, always enlightening. Here are 5 lessons I learned along the way. 1. When people show you who they are, believe them I love this so much I’ll say it again. When people show you who they…
