1. Apologies don’t contain qualifiers.
  2. Be brave.
  3. Always have at least one good bottle of champagne in your fridge.
  4. Let go of your ego. No one cares about whatever it is that you are embarrassed of.
  5. Learn the art of doing nothing.
  6. Never drink and drive. Never smoke pot and drive, either.
  7. Don’t believe the hype. What other people think of you doesn’t matter.
  8. Manners matter.
  9. Tip well.
  10. Don’t gossip. Have one friend you dish with and let that be it.
  11. Be inclusive, you’ll never regret inviting that one person on the fringe.
  12. If you say something, follow through.
  13. Better not to say anything at all then make false promises.
  14. Get a piñata, fill it with candy and hit it till it breaks. Do this at a park so the kids can get in on the fun and enjoy the candy.
  15. In fact, invite kids to aforementioned piñata gathering or people will think you’re creepy.
  16. Much thought went into my parenting and my decisions. Your best outcome in life was always top of my mind.
  17. As a mom, I have undoubtedly wronged you in some way. Try and get over whatever you’re holding onto early so it doesn’t weigh you down later.
  18. Be open to therapy. If you need help, get it.
  19. Sometimes love isn’t all you need. That’s OK.
  20. White socks are only to be worn with sneakers.
  21. Shouting the loudest doesn’t make you right.
  22. “Winning” doesn’t equal happiness.
  23. Bangs are a bitch to grow out.
  24. Get a yearly physical from your doctor, dermatologist (yes this too) and gynecologist.
  25. There are times you can’t have it all. Prioritize and go for the top.
  26. Shoes, blazers, a good pair of jeans, one nice handbag and a good suit are worth spending on.
  27. You are responsible for your actions, reactions and your place in the world.
  28. Don’t blame anyone else if you aren’t happy with who you are and where you are.
  29. Be honest. Lying is never the right choice.
  30. Be prompt; respect other people’s time.
  31. The best thing for a wicked hangover is grease. You won’t want to eat, so force yourself.
  32. Bad news, you never really know what’s going to happen next.
  33. Good news, you never really know what’s going to happen next.