A report trickled into mainstream consciousness last week and within 24 hours it was “news.”
At first, I ignored the links on my news feed that started with “Renée Zellweger.” But soon they were of the whack-a-mole variety; every time one was passed by, another immediately popped up. Then I saw the news – actually the faux news – on the Today show:
Renee had a new look.
There’s Ebola, and ISIS, and elections, and here was Today spending several minutes on this trivia. They had a split screen using recent and old photos of Renée. They examined the differences and the four hosts gave their opinions. I wasn’t surprised to see that the New York Post dedicated half of page two to Renée, including musings from a plastic surgeon on what he guessed had transpired. But then on Facebook, my peers were not only sharing the Renée story, they were also commenting on it – and not in a “she looks so great” kind of way.
Maybe I’m sensitive to this because I was bullied throughout my school years. Maybe it’s because I have a daughter whom I hope to raise to be kind and compassionate. Or maybe I’m just irked because I know those same Facebook peers who publicly judged and shamed a woman they don’t know post pictures of themselves, I assume in the hopes of getting positive comments and “likes.” Do the mothers among them realize they are acting out the same bullying they wouldn’t tolerate from their children?
We all indulge in some form of upkeep, and it’s shameful to pick apart another woman for doing the same, even if it is from a distance and directed against someone we don’t personally know.
I do not know one woman who washes her face with soap and water and ends her routine there. But I know plenty of women, including myself, who indulge in some or all of the following regularly: manicures, pedicures, facials, eyelash extensions, hair colorings, blowouts, running, CrossFit, tennis, spinning, yoga, barre classes, juice cleanses, Spanx, eyebrow grooming, Pilates, Botox, and specialty skin-care products – as well as the specialty skin-care tools that coordinate with the products: spray tans, laser hair removal, eyeliner, lipstick, mascara, foundation, powder, eye shadow, and injectables.
We all make choices, and, while our routines vary, the goal is the same: We want to feel confident when we walk through the world.
Renée Zellweger is an actress, a good one who keeps a low profile. All she did was put on a nice dress, get her hair and makeup done, and attend a work event. What resulted was a “news cycle” focused on the public dissection of what she may have chosen to do to make herself feel good, accompanied by a public dialogue about whether or not millions of strangers approved of her choices.
I am not holier than thou. I’m snarky and can wield judgment like a sword. But there’s a time and a place for it – or two times and two places – during pillow talk with my man or at the kitchen table with my best girlfriend.
It’s too easy to become a bully on the Internet. Would the same women who commented publicly about Renée say the same mean things to her face? No. When faced with an actual human being, they would know those comments were rude and insensitive.
The next time you post a picture on social media from a night out, think about how you would feel if millions of people blew that photo up, shared it, and then publicly ripped you apart.
It may not matter, and it’s really none of my business, but I think Renée looks beautiful.