Cheating is a gift. It sounds ridiculous but hear me out. First, I’ll state the obvious just in case my opening leads you to think I’m insane. I do not condone cheating. It’s cowardly, selfish, makes everything worse and should be avoided at all costs. Ending a marriage (or relationship of any kind) is hard enough on its own. Adding indiscretion to the mix is…
Smile And Wave Question: My daughter recently divorced and I don’t know how to act towards her ex-husband. We had a warm relationship when they were together but after they split I found out that he treated my daughter terribly. We live in the same area and see each other often at my grandkids events. Every time I’m near him I’m tempted to let him…
Night Owls Question: My ex and I have been separated for over a year and have three kids, ages 8, 11 and 13. When they come home to me they’re exhausted and tell me how late they’re allowed to stay up at their dad’s. He doesn’t bother to get up and put them to bed so they just hang out till they crash. How can…
Divorced Not Dead Question: Now that I’m divorced, my friends have taken me off their call lists. They only include me in girl’s nights, which are fun, but the energy is different than a night with couples. I miss the normalcy of those Saturday nights and I miss the husbands too. I wish when they make their plans they’d remember that I’m divorced, not dead!…
Divorce Dish is my monthly advice column specifically focused on issues that arise for the divorced community. It’s offered exclusively on Divorce Force -an online community connecting and empowering those affected by divorce. I will be re-posting snippets of these columns with links to the full text. Enjoy! Introducing My New Boyfriend To My Kids, How Soon Is Too Soon? Question: I’ve been dating someone…
Some couples live their relationships out loud paying no mind to the rest of us. They fight in public and replay the highlights to their barista while ordering morning coffee. When they end their union and part ways, only a few ask questions. Only a few are surprised. The rest of us, we keep our downward spirals close to our vests. In better times, venting…
My first marriage ended in divorce. I’d like to say we consciously uncoupled but the last few years of our union were filled with tension, lies, betrayal, arguments, name calling and sadness until utterly exhausted I threw my hands up. After two therapists, two years separated and with nothing changing, I called my ex and told him, “I’m going to call a lawyer. Unless you…
I recently talked with a friend experiencing angst and exclusion within a friendship. Several women I know are agonizing over the invitation list to their children’s mitzvah celebrations, afraid of the repercussions of necessary cuts. One good friend continually gets upset when she hears of even just two friends hanging out without her. Another despises being the last to hear big news. At times I’ve…
My parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, so as a Solo Mom of a 14-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl, I haven’t walked in my kids’ “children of divorce” shoes. In the seven years since their dad and I separated, there have been ups and downs along the way. Ups and downs are expected for all on the roller coaster of adolescence, but I wonder…
One of my girlfriends is in relationship flux. In discussing and breaking down the specifics and looking at how she got where she is, she told me that her man has totally changed and is so different than she thought. There was a time, that in solidarity I would have reinforced the view from which she stands. “Yes, he has totally changed, he is not…
